and we're out.

Running on empty.y.y.y.......

a list of things i'm out of:

toilet paper

toothpaste

yogurt

butter

laundry detergent

flour

milk

fruit

You know when it seems like your body wash, shampoo, conditioner and toothpaste all run out at the same time and you SWEAR on your life they designed it that way? well this was the perfect storm of running out of things.

this lasted for a few days before i buckled down and went to the store. you haven't lived until you plan your day around where you can use a bathroom that actually has toilet paper. Special thanks to the hospital and starbucks for filling that need.

visits and trips, VISITS AND TRIPS!

"I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out

whether you like people or hate them than
to travel with them." - mark twain

Recent travels:
Kadan - OK-->GA
Parents - NY --> KS -->OK--> KS-->NY
Self/Friends - Lawton-->Austin-->NewBraunfels-->Duncan-->Lawton

Soon to be travels:
self/Parents- OK/NY-->SC-->OK/NY

Thank the Lord for safe travels thus far.
PARENTS VISIT:

While my parents were here, we had lots of fun!!
It was such a neat experience to have them in MY home for once. Mom made the comment, "you know, I don't think we've ever visited you as an adult child." And she's right. It was awesome. I was telling them where things are, how to work the shower, and was filling the agenda with activities and meals. Probably the neatest thing for them (and me) was seeing me in my "natural habitat." You know, when you're younger you have freedom to decorate your little corner of the house, and to be yourself, to plant a garden and do things that you like to do. So, they've seen that side of me. But this time they got to see a whole house (apt) that was the embodiment of me! It reflected my personality and the things I like to do. I wonder if it was what they expected...


Anyway, it was a new frontier that was crossed. It was a shame that good ol' K-man wasn't here, he would have loved to make Dad some delicious steak on the grill.

Some highlights of the visit:
seeing holy city
being EXTREMELY close to long horn/buffalo

finding a beautifully secluded lake with turtles :)

showing them what 3D tv looks like
visiting the hospital
coffee every morning
and chatting.

As difficult as it is to see them go, it is nice to get things back to normal. Turns out I'm a lot more particular about the way I keep my house than I ever thought I would be! Moving home for the summer will be a weird transition from my house and my rules to their house and their rules.

But then again, living with roommates again in August will also be a weird transition.

TRIP TO AUSTIN:
Just came back yesterday from a whirl wind weekend trip to Austin for my friend Kayla's birthday. What a great thing for someone to let you into their life, let you meet their friends and family, and to be transparent with you. I am very grateful to have met Kayla and to be a part of her life while I'm here. I've been praying about how to be a better friend while I'm still living in Lawton, and to make the most of the time that I have here... I see God working and making my relationships more fruitful all the while. We are learning from each other.

Some highlights of the trip:
floating the river in New Braunfels, TX (so fun! would recommend to anyone)
visiting the small town of Gruene, TX
stepping outside of my comfort zone, and growing through the experience
road tripping!



I am so thankful for safe travels all around! Please pray with me as my parents and myself head to SC next weekend for a new student orientation at VCOM.

I am in a loving mood. I LOVE EVERYONE. I wish I could visit a new friend each weekend, but since I can't, I'll just cherish the times I get to spend with each of you. Time together is a precious gift.

the grandest canyon of them all... i left this off our year in review!!

Where do we go from here?

Our nutshell of a year goes like this:

reunited and it feels SO good
graduation, BS
connecticut
big move to OK...it's just ok
summer heat, got us beat
from friends in abundance to one friend named "spouse"
Sara Lange, RDMS
payed respects to Davy Crockett
a nephew is born
unemployment blues
HIRED!
employment blues
celebration of hail aka my best friend's wedding
m=cAt
a little organic chemistry on the side
home again home again jiggity jog
I CAN YELL LOUDER THAN YOU CAN
best NCO in the whole world, and I married him
new niecey poo
VCOM 2016
separation anxiety
separation
present day.

"Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out."

Karl Augustus Menninger

Two themes emerge as I reflect over the past year:

fear and acceptance.

Whether my strong husband would ever admit it or not, it is true that this year was a trying one. Starting with a shocking change of venue for the both of us...for me- NY to OK, and for him- bachelor to provider. Having visited Oklahoma before, and knowing some of Kadan's friends there, I wasn't nervous for the move. Sad to leave my family and friends? yes. but nervous? no. Maybe I should have been. My naivete was a wonderful treat in that it lessened my emotional burden. Had I known then what I know now about serious relocation, the drive down here would have been VERY different..It might have involved a temper tantrum or two and a very gloomy disposition.

The hardest thing about moving was learning how to adjust to our marriage in a different setting. Until this point in our relationship, we were great (i'm using that word liberally) at being in a relationship that spanned a few thousand miles, an ocean or two and a time difference. Once we arrived at our home on the range, we took all that distance, space and time to ourselves and crammed it into a miniature 1 BR apt with no escape. The learning curve on living together lasted about 3 months. 3 months of crying, frustration, hurtful words, misunderstandings and growth. Yes...despite what it sounds like, we really were growing in spirit and in love for each other.

Life in the army is a myriad of unknowns. Until 20-05-2012 SGT lange will be stationed at Ft. Sill, OK. Great! then what...??? Deciding to attend medical school is one of the most difficult yet easy/exciting/terrifying decisions that kadan and I have made thus far. Why? Because of all of the unknowns. we don't have a clue as to when we'll be living together again. After all the hard work this summer learning to be in love and in the same house, we are alas forced to dig up and utilize the skills that sustained our marriage through distance. With his orders promising two years abroad in Germany, and my education promising at least 4 years plus a residency, it is easy to let fear into our hearts. Fear and distance are the tools that the devil will use to try and destroy our marriage. Lucky for us, God, truth, trust, and love are the weapons we'll be using to defend ourselves.

All of this learning has brought us to one place (i'll admit, Kadan got there faster than I did)- acceptance. We accept now that we can't predict the future. We accept that God has a plan for our lives that extends beyond this period of separation/uncertainty. God puts desires in our hearts and talents in our bodies to be used to glorify Him. I truly believe that God has called me into the medical profession, and to deny the path that He has so graciously opened for me would be wrong. The sacrifices that are made in this life, we'll be rewarded for in the next. Laying down our lives together to bring to fruition His plans for our marriage is the only way to obey Him. I am sad. I am sad to live without my husband. I am sad to have to wait to start a family. I am sad to start over in a new city. and I am sad that school will devour the next years of my life. But how can I not rejoice in the ways the Lord has provided for us?? I talk to my husband daily, the school I was accepted to is within 3o minutes of my sister/brother in law, this school's focus is medical missions. What a great way to prepare for a life serving our savior!

So we're learning to accept those things that we see as obstacles, and are accepting that it is not our plans that succeed, but God's.